In honor of George Carlin, the first one seems fitting (since I’m getting married this weekend):
“‘I am’ is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ‘I do’ is the longest sentence?” “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” “One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. “ “When someone is impatient and says, ‘I haven’t got all day,’ I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day? “
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